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6 ways to use your phone less
In May 2025, Angela Duckworth delivered a college commencement speech encouraging college graduates to pursue ‘situation modification’ in relation to our phones.
As she describes it, situation modification means “using physical distance to create psychological distance”. For example, keeping your phone far away from you and a book right next to you instead.
With Gen Z spending an average of 6 hours per day on their phones — it’s a sign that we need to be more mindful with our phone use. But when social media companies pay unfathomable amounts of money to keep people on their apps as long as possible, it takes deliberate actions to bring that number down.
Here’s how:
6 practical ways to modify your situation when it comes to your phone
1. Keep your phone in a different room
When you need to focus deeply, put your phone in another room. Out of sight, out of mind.
2. Change your sky-to-screen ratio
When you feel bored or anxious, go outside. Nature has no algorithm to grab your attention, but it has beauty and many healing benefits we need as humans.
“All nature is doing her best each moment to make us well—she exists for no other end. Do not resist her. With the least inclination to be well we should not be sick.”
— Henry David Thoreau
Most American adults spend less than 1 hour outdoors per day and based on the average screen time of Gen Zs’, that makes a sky-to-screen ratio of 1:6. I think we can both agree that probably isn’t good for us.
3. Keep your phone off the dinner table
If you’re having dinner with people you care about, agree to keep phones off the table and out of reach.
4. When driving, keep your phone beyond arm’s reach
Distracted driving causes hundreds of thousands of accidents and thousands of deaths each year.
5. Don’t keep your phone in your bedroom
“If the last thing you stroke before bed and the first thing you caress in the morning is your phone — change it.”
— Esther Perel
Enough said!
6. Be deliberate
When you do choose to use your phone, be deliberate with how you use it.
“I had one for three months in 2008, when it came out. Other people’s opinions matter to me, as I’m sure they matter to everybody. The thought of being exposed to those opinions every second of every day, of having to present my life to other people in some other form than it exists every day, like a media presentation — I cannot imagine what my mind would be, what my books would be, what my relationships would be, what my relationship with my children would be.”
— Zadie Smith, explaining why she doesn’t have a smartphone on The Ezra Klein Show
Angela ended her speech with words that perfectly capture the philosophy of More Mindful Life:
“Commit to situation modification because this is what mindfulness looks like in the digital age. Not willpower but the wisdom to shape the situations that shape you. When you make your choices, remember what the writer Annie Dillard said, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives”.”
Ask better questions (and more of them)
I love questions; questions that make you think, questions that make you reflect, questions that make you see things in a whole new light.
Questions activate the part of your brain that wants to find the answer. According to information gap theory, when we are posed with a question about something we don’t have a complete answer to we are motivated to seek out an answer to ‘close the gap’.
This means that by asking yourself questions intentionally, you are giving yourself the ability to uncover answers you may not have realised without the question.
Regularly asking yourself questions like the below allows you to open your mind to different perspectives, ideas and realities — and, when approached with honesty, help you live a more mindful life.
So, grab your favourite journal and pen and dive into the following questions:
1. What if the opposite were true?
It can be really easy to focus only on one side of the story, one perspective or one option. But sometimes it’s helpful to play devil’s advocate.
2. Why haven’t I succeeded yet?
Asking myself this question made me realise that I had my definition of success wrong. I had told myself I was seeking success in a certain way, yet my repeated actions were showing a different story. When I reflected on what success truly meant to me, I realised that I was already living pretty close to it.
3. Why am I obsessed with…?
This is a great question for getting to know yourself better. Amplify this question by asking ‘why?’ after each answer until you get to the very core reason.
4. If I wasn’t trying to impress anyone, what would I create?
As a creative, I’m constantly trying to understand my motivations for creating. Is it for me? Is it for validation? Is it to be understood? I believe creativity is a form of expression and connection but it’s an interesting question to ask to disarm fears.
5. Is this dream worth more to me as a dream or as my reality?
I’ll have to try and find the video source for this question because it’s great. It can be a little confronting, but, as they say, the truth will set you free.
6. Where will my life end up if I keep making the same decisions?
This question can also be a bit confronting, but completely worth it if you’re wanting to change your reality. If wanting something good isn’t driving you to act, not wanting something bad surely will.
7. Is it true?
This question comes in 4 parts and is particularly good for anxious thoughts (in my experience):
Is it true?
Can I absolutely know it’s true?
How do I react when I believe that thought?
Who am I without the thought? (you can leave this question out if you don’t want to dive into the philosophical and spiritual aspect)
8. If you were the only person left alive, would you still create?
I think most of us would have a clear answer to this question — which I think says a lot in itself for those of us wondering if creativity is for ourselves or for others.
9. Why am I here? What am I doing? Why does it matter?
I recommend asking yourself these questions more than once in your life.
10. What does a good day look like?
One of the first steps to living a more mindful life is to know your answer to this question.
11. Who am I?
Perhaps one of the greatest questions of all time that I believe we should ask ourselves regularly. Knowing yourself is a foundation of living a more mindful life.