6 ways to use your phone less

In May 2025, Angela Duckworth delivered a college commencement speech encouraging college graduates to pursue ‘situation modification’ in relation to our phones.

As she describes it, situation modification means “using physical distance to create psychological distance”. For example, keeping your phone far away from you and a book right next to you instead.

With Gen Z spending an average of 6 hours per day on their phones — it’s a sign that we need to be more mindful with our phone use. But when social media companies pay unfathomable amounts of money to keep people on their apps as long as possible, it takes deliberate actions to bring that number down.

Here’s how:

6 practical ways to modify your situation when it comes to your phone

1. Keep your phone in a different room

When you need to focus deeply, put your phone in another room. Out of sight, out of mind.

2. Change your sky-to-screen ratio

When you feel bored or anxious, go outside. Nature has no algorithm to grab your attention, but it has beauty and many healing benefits we need as humans.

“All nature is doing her best each moment to make us well—she exists for no other end. Do not resist her. With the least inclination to be well we should not be sick.”

— Henry David Thoreau

Most American adults spend less than 1 hour outdoors per day and based on the average screen time of Gen Zs’, that makes a sky-to-screen ratio of 1:6. I think we can both agree that probably isn’t good for us.

3. Keep your phone off the dinner table

If you’re having dinner with people you care about, agree to keep phones off the table and out of reach.

4. When driving, keep your phone beyond arm’s reach

Distracted driving causes hundreds of thousands of accidents and thousands of deaths each year.

5. Don’t keep your phone in your bedroom

“If the last thing you stroke before bed and the first thing you caress in the morning is your phone — change it.”

— Esther Perel

Enough said!

6. Be deliberate

When you do choose to use your phone, be deliberate with how you use it.

“I had one for three months in 2008, when it came out. Other people’s opinions matter to me, as I’m sure they matter to everybody. The thought of being exposed to those opinions every second of every day, of having to present my life to other people in some other form than it exists every day, like a media presentation — I cannot imagine what my mind would be, what my books would be, what my relationships would be, what my relationship with my children would be.”

— Zadie Smith, explaining why she doesn’t have a smartphone on The Ezra Klein Show

Angela ended her speech with words that perfectly capture the philosophy of More Mindful Life:

“Commit to situation modification because this is what mindfulness looks like in the digital age. Not willpower but the wisdom to shape the situations that shape you. When you make your choices, remember what the writer Annie Dillard said, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives”.”

How to think your own thoughts (and unsubscribe from the noise)

How many newsletters do you subscribe to in a week? And how many new people do you follow on social media each week? Therefore, how many opinions are you hearing each week that aren’t your own?

The chances are: more than you need.

It’s hard to think your own thoughts when your mind is full of everyone else’s.

The problem with listening to endless opinions of others is that everyone is telling you to do something different. This is how you end up overwhelmed and never creating any meaningful change in your life.

As part of my 12345 strategy, I recommend simplifying and intentionally choosing just 5 “opinions” to subscribe to (in other words, 5 sources of information) — whether that be in the form of a book, a newsletter, a course etc…

These should be intentionally chosen in alignment with your vision.

For example, if you have a goal this year to get better at storytelling, then one of your 5 source of information should be someone that can support you in achieving that goal.

The simple 3-strike rule for a stress-free inbox

Is your inbox full of newsletters you don’t read? Do you open your inbox with one eye closed? Is your unread email count greater than the amount of money you have in the bank?

If so, you will probably benefit from my simple 3-strike rule to keep your inbox stress-free and supportive.

For each newsletter you subscribe to, ask yourself the following question:

In the last 3 emails, have I received anything of value?

If the answer is no, you guessed it, unsubscribe!

If you’ve never done this before, it might take a little bit of time to get through your inbox so feel free to do this over a few days.

Once you’ve cleared your inbox, you can now employ the 3-strike rule on any new newsletters you may subscribe to. And for full transparency, sometimes I might go to 5 emails if I’m feeling particularly generous. Or, if I’m not feeling the vibe in the first email, I’ll unsubscribe straight away.

This might sound ruthless, but this is your energy, attention and sanity on the line and it should be protected.

Now, for an even more mindful approach, ask yourself before subscribing to a newsletter:

• Does this align with my current goals or interests?

• Is this something I really want or need in my inbox?

If the answer is no, then don’t subscribe.

Not only does this protect your energy and attention, but it protects you from having your email compromised or sold on to third-party companies.