How to balance structure with sanity

Where does life fit in?

My current take on structure is one of flexibility.

There are people out in the world who schedule every last minute of their day. If that’s you, and it works, I’m not criticising. It just does not work for me.

I tried it.

It was not fun.

I felt like a caged animal with frequent feelings of failure when I inevitably didn’t estimate how long something would take correctly and ended up behind on my schedule — just one hour into my day.

I am someone that enjoys a level of spaciousness in my days. It’s not just a want, it actually helps me maintain my sanity. Too many decisions to make and I can get overwhelmed. My ADHD brain wasn’t made for processing multiple decisions at once. Single focus? Yes please.

So, if I don’t schedule every last minute of my day, what do I do instead?

I plan my day, on the day.

I take a short amount of time each morning to prime my mind to focus on what matters, and then I prioritise based on that. I’m always clear on my next few steps ahead which is all I need to be able to be effective in what I’m doing in the here and now.

I also plan my week, flexibly, at the start of the week.

This combination helps me remain flexible and adaptable yet focused and clear.

We live in an ever changing world. Things change and unexpected things come up.

Life happens.

And it will always happen.

So, I plan with that in mind and maintain my sanity.

Why I choose Claude over ChatGPT

Claude helps me think better

As a Squarespace web designer I’ve always likened Squarespace to Apple and Wordpress to Windows.

If you’re part of the Apple ecosystem, you’ll already know what I mean.

But what I’m speaking to here isn’t about who dominates the tech industry — it’s about experience. And what Apple delivers in terms of experience, Windows simply cannot match.

I think of ChatGPT and Claude like a bad coach and a therapist. Two very different experiences.

ChatGPT, like a bad coach trying to get results, always says “If you like, I can create X for you.” Whereas Claude, like a therapist helping you know yourself better, says “What do you feel about X?”.

If you want to benefit from the powers of AI, but not fall prey to its spoon-feeding and negative impacts on your critical thinking, try Claude. I’ve personally found it to be a supportive addition to my research and critical thinking.

Claude is like a wise uncle who always manages to both encourage you and change your perspective for the better, every time you see him.

My simple monthly tracker that helps me to live a deliberate life

In April 2025, I started using a simple tracker to keep track (of course) of things I wanted to focus on in my life.

I’ve gone through a couple of iterations with the layout and, as is often with any new habit, the consistency of this habit built over time to now where I use my tracker every day and gain valuable insights from it every month.

I had a feeling that creativity, curiosity and connection (3 of my core values) were things that elevated my mood and so I wanted to see for a month if that was true. By tracking these 3 things for a month, it was clear that they did in fact result in a greater mood when they were in my day.

So, now that I have this information, I can intentionally design my weeks and my days to include those 3 things as much as possible.

Below is my tracker for October 2025.

Let’s just say I’m working on working out…!

If you want to see any more examples, let me know in the comments below!

How to think your own thoughts (and unsubscribe from the noise)

How many newsletters do you subscribe to in a week? And how many new people do you follow on social media each week? Therefore, how many opinions are you hearing each week that aren’t your own?

The chances are: more than you need.

It’s hard to think your own thoughts when your mind is full of everyone else’s.

The problem with listening to endless opinions of others is that everyone is telling you to do something different. This is how you end up overwhelmed and never creating any meaningful change in your life.

As part of my 12345 strategy, I recommend simplifying and intentionally choosing just 5 “opinions” to subscribe to (in other words, 5 sources of information) — whether that be in the form of a book, a newsletter, a course etc…

These should be intentionally chosen in alignment with your vision.

For example, if you have a goal this year to get better at storytelling, then one of your 5 source of information should be someone that can support you in achieving that goal.

One simple trick that makes habit formation easier

This post contains no mention of Atomic Habits by James Clear — I promise.

If you’re someone who struggles with implementing habits then give this a go.

All you need is your phone.

Note: this is for time-bound habits only ie. habits that you want to do at a specific time of the day. For habits that can be done at any time of the day, you’d be better off setting reminders.

1. On your phone, create an alarm for your habit and give it a name in the form of an action you want to take. For example, if you want to start a journalling habit you could call it ‘Journal for 15 minutes’. You can also add an emoji to make it more fun if that’s your thing! 📝

2. Now choose the time and repeating schedule you want. For example, every morning at 8am.

3. Next time the alarm goes off, commit to doing the habit.

The only thing you need to make this a success is the commitment to obeying the alarm.

What to do if you keep ignoring the alarm

If you keep the alarm set and ignore it every time then you are programming your brain to associate alarms as something to ignore and dismiss. This will make using this method harder as you’ll not only be trying to implement a new habit but also having to rewire your brain to not ignore the alarm you’ve set.

So, if you notice yourself ignoring the alarm day after day then I recommend disabling it and journalling about why this might be and what you need to be able to action this habit. Maybe it’s setting it at a different time, maybe it’s making the habit easier to do — you’ll know what it is that you need.

The simple 3-strike rule for a stress-free inbox

Is your inbox full of newsletters you don’t read? Do you open your inbox with one eye closed? Is your unread email count greater than the amount of money you have in the bank?

If so, you will probably benefit from my simple 3-strike rule to keep your inbox stress-free and supportive.

For each newsletter you subscribe to, ask yourself the following question:

In the last 3 emails, have I received anything of value?

If the answer is no, you guessed it, unsubscribe!

If you’ve never done this before, it might take a little bit of time to get through your inbox so feel free to do this over a few days.

Once you’ve cleared your inbox, you can now employ the 3-strike rule on any new newsletters you may subscribe to. And for full transparency, sometimes I might go to 5 emails if I’m feeling particularly generous. Or, if I’m not feeling the vibe in the first email, I’ll unsubscribe straight away.

This might sound ruthless, but this is your energy, attention and sanity on the line and it should be protected.

Now, for an even more mindful approach, ask yourself before subscribing to a newsletter:

• Does this align with my current goals or interests?

• Is this something I really want or need in my inbox?

If the answer is no, then don’t subscribe.

Not only does this protect your energy and attention, but it protects you from having your email compromised or sold on to third-party companies.

The 6th regret of the dying

“1. I wish I’d had the courage to a live true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

— Bronnie Ware, The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

These regrets were those of people nearing the end of their life but, given that the majority of people lived with the internet and social media only at the end of their life, I believe we may end up seeing a 6th regret when my generation (millennials) and those that follow me (Gen Z and Gen A) come to the end of our lives:

6. “I wish I didn’t spend so much time on my phone.”