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How to balance structure with sanity
Where does life fit in?
My current take on structure is one of flexibility.
There are people out in the world who schedule every last minute of their day. If that’s you, and it works, I’m not criticising. It just does not work for me.
I tried it.
It was not fun.
I felt like a caged animal with frequent feelings of failure when I inevitably didn’t estimate how long something would take correctly and ended up behind on my schedule — just one hour into my day.
I am someone that enjoys a level of spaciousness in my days. It’s not just a want, it actually helps me maintain my sanity. Too many decisions to make and I can get overwhelmed. My ADHD brain wasn’t made for processing multiple decisions at once. Single focus? Yes please.
So, if I don’t schedule every last minute of my day, what do I do instead?
I plan my day, on the day.
I take a short amount of time each morning to prime my mind to focus on what matters, and then I prioritise based on that. I’m always clear on my next few steps ahead which is all I need to be able to be effective in what I’m doing in the here and now.
I also plan my week, flexibly, at the start of the week.
This combination helps me remain flexible and adaptable yet focused and clear.
We live in an ever changing world. Things change and unexpected things come up.
Life happens.
And it will always happen.
So, I plan with that in mind and maintain my sanity.
My 30-min journalling routine that connects my future vision to my daily actions
A peek into my favourite notebook (my brown regular Traveler’s Notebook)
I’ve always struggled to connect my future visions with my present day actions. My ADHD brain loves to live in the now, but the driven and ambitious part of myself always has her eyes set on the future.
It’s an uncomfortable tension at times but this new journalling routine (and a little bit of flexibility) has truly helped me connect the two.
The routine is a blend of two different journalling practices from Zach Highley [1] and David Fragomeni [2] — with some of my own customisations.
The best part about this is it can all be done in less than 30 mins.
Why this works
As a high level overview the routine is as follows:
Do a brain dump
Write 2 gratitudes
Read your vision
Read your reminders
Review your ladders
Pick 1-3 tasks for the day
Journal
The reason this particular order works really well is because you’re first clearing your mind with a brain dump, then creating a feeling of openness and acceptance before connecting to your vision for the future. You then read your list of reminders to give yourself a little personal pep-talk and remind yourself why you in fact *can* achieve your vision (those voices of self doubt can be saved for step 7).
Once you’re feeling motivated and inspired to go after your dreams, you can then shift into planning mode. Reviewing the direction you’re going in and picking 1-3 tasks for the day brings your future vision and your daily actions into alignment.
Finally, as a way of getting to know yourself on a deeper level and clearing anything that might be holding you back, you can pick a prompt and journal.
Sound good? I thought so.
Here it is:
Step 1: Do a brain dump
If ever I’m overwhelmed with to-do’s, I will _always_ turn to a brain dump. The usual reason for feeling overwhelmed is that I have too many things buzzing around my head and I’m worried I’m either going to forget something or not be able to do it all.
Doing a brain dump allows me to quickly capture everything that’s on my mind. It’s like a deep exhale for the mind. The instantaneous relief I feel after getting all my thoughts out in front of me is why I will always encourage people to utilise it’s simple power.
As a quick side note: brain dumps work wonders for busy minds trying to sleep. Keep a notepad and pen next to your bed (or make sure your phone is set up for sleeping) to quickly jot down any thoughts and I can guarantee you’ll sleep better.
As part of this journalling routine, my brain dumps usually look like a few things I have on my mind or want to get done. They don’t have to be 20 items long to help.
Step 2: Write 2 gratitudes
This particular step is part of Zach’s routine where he follows a 1-2-3 process (1 brain dump, 2 gratitudes and 3 small goals). So, two gratitudes is simply because it’s step 2 in his process.
I personally decided to stick with two (even though 3 is my favourite number) because one felt too little and two is 100% more than one. Also, it’s generally pretty easy to think of one thing to be grateful for. Two makes you think a little harder!
Step 3: Read your vision
This step is from David’s routine and I knew instantly that I wanted to start doing it myself because I’ve been considering a practice like this for a while and hadn’t quite figured out the right format for it. When I heard David explain it, I knew the simplicity was exactly what I was looking for.
I have my vision written in the same notebook that I journal in so that I can quickly and easily turn to the page and read it as part of my routine.
Now, of course, to be able to read your vision, you first have to write your vision so I recommend taking some time to write out exactly what your vision is.
For mine, I wrote “5 years from now…” and then wrote out my vision making a point to include things that created feelings and strong visuals in my mind.
For example, “I have a creative sanctuary that I get to work from every day. It is filled with natural light — morning and afternoon — with plants, books and wooden furnishings. It feels warm, intentional and inviting. I hear the birds outside.”
I’ve personally always struggled with the idea of 5-year, 10-year, even 3-year visions. Given how rapidly the world changes these days it feels strange to plan ahead that far because honestly who knows what things are going to look like.
So, whilst I wrote “5 years from now…” this figure is completely arbitrary to me and what I’m really saying is “How I would like my life to look in the future is…”.
The point is, this isn’t prescriptive and you should do it however feels natural to you.
Step 4: Read your reminders
Again, this step is from David’s routine, and just like David I am not a fan of the term ‘affirmations’. In my experience, they always feel more like wishing than believing and I find that when you can truly believe, you can truly make change.
If affirmations work for you, then you can consider this section to be affirmations instead.
My list of reminders serve as a mix of intentions, values, principles and practices that I want to remind myself of.
For example:
I trust my creative instincts and give ideas room to develop
Intentional steps forward matter more than speed
Everything I publish is a practice and helps me to grow and refine my thinking
Where I am now is exactly where I need to be to get where I’m going
To create your own list of reminders, spend some time reflecting on what really matters to you in terms of how you want to embody your:
intentions
values
principles
practices
If you can’t think of many to begin with, don’t stress. Now that you’ve said to your mind that this is something of importance, you’ll find it starts springing up suggestions at all kinds of random times (mostly in the shower). Write them down as they come to you.
Step 5: Review your ladders
You can replace this step with whatever works best for you in terms of planning your goals but if you’re anything like me, you need specific steps to get from A → B.
What I call my ‘ladders’ are essentially a list of small steps that get me from where I am now, to where I want to be (bringing my future vision and my daily actions into alignment). Each step I consider to be a rung on the ladder and the top of the ladder is, you guessed it, the goal.
Sometimes it’s hard to know the steps required to achieve your goal so there’s a couple of ways to approach this:
Work backwards from your goal asking ‘what do I need to do to get to this step?’. Eventually you’ll have steps all the way to where you are now.
Get AI to help. Now, whilst I don’t encourage AI for creative work (I truly believe creativity should come from human effort), I do encourage it for administrative or technical work. Simply tell your [[favourite AI]] what your goal is and that you need clear steps to get there, broken down in bitesize chunks. It probably won’t be perfect first time around, so do a little back and forth to get the list exactly as feels right to you. Trust your intuition here.
Reviewing your ladders is all about reminding yourself of the journey you’re taking so that when distractions come up (inevitably) throughout your day, you know what your priorities are and can make decisions accordingly.
As you take steps on your ladder, you may find yourself updating your ladders as you learn new information or your plans change. This is why we approach our ladders with a flexible mindset.
Step 6: Pick 1-3 tasks for the day
Cal Newport says in his book Slow Productivity:
“Strive to reduce your obligations to the point where you can easily imagine accomplishing them with time to spare. Leverage this reduced load to more fully embrace and advance the small number of projects that matter most.”
The reason for only picking 1-3 tasks for the day is because that feels manageable.
Marcus Aurelius, in Meditations, says “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly.”
Now, that might sound a little pessimistic, but I take this as a reminder that we are going to come into contact with other people and distractions throughout our day that will ask of our time and attention — some of which we may need to provide.
Having 1-3 tasks allows us spaciousness for the inevitability of other people’s plans coming into contact with our own without it causing us to feel like we’re behind on our own plans.
If you get through your 1-3 tasks, well, you’ve probably got a long list of other tasks so you can pick another one and keep going. Or, alternatively, give yourself a pat on the back and enjoy some rest.
Step 7: Journal
If you’re someone who already journals, you may have your own journalling practice in which case feel free to use that here. Otherwise, if you’re looking for some inspiration you can try these two methods:
1. Free-write
This is also known as ‘stream of consciousness’ writing where you literally write anything and everything in your mind. “I didn’t sleep so well last night… I really must remember to buy my mum a birthday present… What is the meaning of life?…” It goes on and on! This can be particularly useful if you have a lot on your mind that you want to clear.
2. Pick a prompt and answer it
I have a list of journal prompts that specifically encourage deeper and reflective thinking to put me in a strong mindset and help uncover anything that could be holding me back or getting in my way.
Here’s 10 that you can use:
What would make today feel successful?
What am I avoiding and why?
What am I believing about myself that might not be true?
What am I afraid will happen if I fail?
What am I afraid will happen if I succeed?
If I looked back on today in 5 years, what would I be proud of?
What rule am I following that I never agreed to?
What am I making more complicated than it needs to be?
What feels unsafe about moving toward my vision?
What gave me energy recently? What drained it?
The process is simple:
Pick a prompt and journal until either your hand hurts or you feel complete.
Next steps
More steps after the 7 steps? But Natalia, I thought you said it was only 7 steps in this process?
Well, the next step is to go and start your day! Get comfy and get started with your first task!
Why I choose Claude over ChatGPT
Claude helps me think better
As a Squarespace web designer I’ve always likened Squarespace to Apple and Wordpress to Windows.
If you’re part of the Apple ecosystem, you’ll already know what I mean.
But what I’m speaking to here isn’t about who dominates the tech industry — it’s about experience. And what Apple delivers in terms of experience, Windows simply cannot match.
I think of ChatGPT and Claude like a bad coach and a therapist. Two very different experiences.
ChatGPT, like a bad coach trying to get results, always says “If you like, I can create X for you.” Whereas Claude, like a therapist helping you know yourself better, says “What do you feel about X?”.
If you want to benefit from the powers of AI, but not fall prey to its spoon-feeding and negative impacts on your critical thinking, try Claude. I’ve personally found it to be a supportive addition to my research and critical thinking.
Claude is like a wise uncle who always manages to both encourage you and change your perspective for the better, every time you see him.
6 ways to use your phone less
In May 2025, Angela Duckworth delivered a college commencement speech encouraging college graduates to pursue ‘situation modification’ in relation to our phones.
As she describes it, situation modification means “using physical distance to create psychological distance”. For example, keeping your phone far away from you and a book right next to you instead.
With Gen Z spending an average of 6 hours per day on their phones — it’s a sign that we need to be more mindful with our phone use. But when social media companies pay unfathomable amounts of money to keep people on their apps as long as possible, it takes deliberate actions to bring that number down.
Here’s how:
6 practical ways to modify your situation when it comes to your phone
1. Keep your phone in a different room
When you need to focus deeply, put your phone in another room. Out of sight, out of mind.
2. Change your sky-to-screen ratio
When you feel bored or anxious, go outside. Nature has no algorithm to grab your attention, but it has beauty and many healing benefits we need as humans.
“All nature is doing her best each moment to make us well—she exists for no other end. Do not resist her. With the least inclination to be well we should not be sick.”
— Henry David Thoreau
Most American adults spend less than 1 hour outdoors per day and based on the average screen time of Gen Zs’, that makes a sky-to-screen ratio of 1:6. I think we can both agree that probably isn’t good for us.
3. Keep your phone off the dinner table
If you’re having dinner with people you care about, agree to keep phones off the table and out of reach.
4. When driving, keep your phone beyond arm’s reach
Distracted driving causes hundreds of thousands of accidents and thousands of deaths each year.
5. Don’t keep your phone in your bedroom
“If the last thing you stroke before bed and the first thing you caress in the morning is your phone — change it.”
— Esther Perel
Enough said!
6. Be deliberate
When you do choose to use your phone, be deliberate with how you use it.
“I had one for three months in 2008, when it came out. Other people’s opinions matter to me, as I’m sure they matter to everybody. The thought of being exposed to those opinions every second of every day, of having to present my life to other people in some other form than it exists every day, like a media presentation — I cannot imagine what my mind would be, what my books would be, what my relationships would be, what my relationship with my children would be.”
— Zadie Smith, explaining why she doesn’t have a smartphone on The Ezra Klein Show
Angela ended her speech with words that perfectly capture the philosophy of More Mindful Life:
“Commit to situation modification because this is what mindfulness looks like in the digital age. Not willpower but the wisdom to shape the situations that shape you. When you make your choices, remember what the writer Annie Dillard said, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives”.”
Ask better questions (and more of them)
I love questions; questions that make you think, questions that make you reflect, questions that make you see things in a whole new light.
Questions activate the part of your brain that wants to find the answer. According to information gap theory, when we are posed with a question about something we don’t have a complete answer to we are motivated to seek out an answer to ‘close the gap’.
This means that by asking yourself questions intentionally, you are giving yourself the ability to uncover answers you may not have realised without the question.
Regularly asking yourself questions like the below allows you to open your mind to different perspectives, ideas and realities — and, when approached with honesty, help you live a more mindful life.
So, grab your favourite journal and pen and dive into the following questions:
1. What if the opposite were true?
It can be really easy to focus only on one side of the story, one perspective or one option. But sometimes it’s helpful to play devil’s advocate.
2. Why haven’t I succeeded yet?
Asking myself this question made me realise that I had my definition of success wrong. I had told myself I was seeking success in a certain way, yet my repeated actions were showing a different story. When I reflected on what success truly meant to me, I realised that I was already living pretty close to it.
3. Why am I obsessed with…?
This is a great question for getting to know yourself better. Amplify this question by asking ‘why?’ after each answer until you get to the very core reason.
4. If I wasn’t trying to impress anyone, what would I create?
As a creative, I’m constantly trying to understand my motivations for creating. Is it for me? Is it for validation? Is it to be understood? I believe creativity is a form of expression and connection but it’s an interesting question to ask to disarm fears.
5. Is this dream worth more to me as a dream or as my reality?
I’ll have to try and find the video source for this question because it’s great. It can be a little confronting, but, as they say, the truth will set you free.
6. Where will my life end up if I keep making the same decisions?
This question can also be a bit confronting, but completely worth it if you’re wanting to change your reality. If wanting something good isn’t driving you to act, not wanting something bad surely will.
7. Is it true?
This question comes in 4 parts and is particularly good for anxious thoughts (in my experience):
Is it true?
Can I absolutely know it’s true?
How do I react when I believe that thought?
Who am I without the thought? (you can leave this question out if you don’t want to dive into the philosophical and spiritual aspect)
8. If you were the only person left alive, would you still create?
I think most of us would have a clear answer to this question — which I think says a lot in itself for those of us wondering if creativity is for ourselves or for others.
9. Why am I here? What am I doing? Why does it matter?
I recommend asking yourself these questions more than once in your life.
10. What does a good day look like?
One of the first steps to living a more mindful life is to know your answer to this question.
11. Who am I?
Perhaps one of the greatest questions of all time that I believe we should ask ourselves regularly. Knowing yourself is a foundation of living a more mindful life.
My simple monthly tracker that helps me to live a deliberate life
In April 2025, I started using a simple tracker to keep track (of course) of things I wanted to focus on in my life.
I’ve gone through a couple of iterations with the layout and, as is often with any new habit, the consistency of this habit built over time to now where I use my tracker every day and gain valuable insights from it every month.
I had a feeling that creativity, curiosity and connection (3 of my core values) were things that elevated my mood and so I wanted to see for a month if that was true. By tracking these 3 things for a month, it was clear that they did in fact result in a greater mood when they were in my day.
So, now that I have this information, I can intentionally design my weeks and my days to include those 3 things as much as possible.
Below is my tracker for October 2025.
Let’s just say I’m working on working out…!
If you want to see any more examples, let me know in the comments below!
How to think your own thoughts (and unsubscribe from the noise)
How many newsletters do you subscribe to in a week? And how many new people do you follow on social media each week? Therefore, how many opinions are you hearing each week that aren’t your own?
The chances are: more than you need.
It’s hard to think your own thoughts when your mind is full of everyone else’s.
The problem with listening to endless opinions of others is that everyone is telling you to do something different. This is how you end up overwhelmed and never creating any meaningful change in your life.
As part of my 12345 strategy, I recommend simplifying and intentionally choosing just 5 “opinions” to subscribe to (in other words, 5 sources of information) — whether that be in the form of a book, a newsletter, a course etc…
These should be intentionally chosen in alignment with your vision.
For example, if you have a goal this year to get better at storytelling, then one of your 5 source of information should be someone that can support you in achieving that goal.
One simple trick that makes habit formation easier
This post contains no mention of Atomic Habits by James Clear — I promise.
If you’re someone who struggles with implementing habits then give this a go.
All you need is your phone.
Note: this is for time-bound habits only ie. habits that you want to do at a specific time of the day. For habits that can be done at any time of the day, you’d be better off setting reminders.
On your phone, create an alarm for your habit and give it a name in the form of an action you want to take. For example, if you want to start a journalling habit you could call it ‘Journal for 15 minutes’. You can also add an emoji to make it more fun if that’s your thing! 📝
Now choose the time and repeating schedule you want. For example, every morning at 8am.
Next time the alarm goes off, commit to doing the habit.
The only thing you need to make this a success is the commitment to obeying the alarm.
What to do if you keep ignoring the alarm
If you keep the alarm set and ignore it every time then you are programming your brain to associate alarms as something to ignore and dismiss. This will make using this method harder as you’ll not only be trying to implement a new habit but also having to rewire your brain to not ignore the alarm you’ve set.
So, if you notice yourself ignoring the alarm day after day then I recommend disabling it and journalling about why this might be and what you need to be able to action this habit. Maybe it’s setting it at a different time, maybe it’s making the habit easier to do — you’ll know what it is that you need.
The simple 3-strike rule for a stress-free inbox
Is your inbox full of newsletters you don’t read? Do you open your inbox with one eye closed? Is your unread email count greater than the amount of money you have in the bank?
If so, you will probably benefit from my simple 3-strike rule to keep your inbox stress-free and supportive.
For each newsletter you subscribe to, ask yourself the following question:
In the last 3 emails, have I received anything of value?
If the answer is no, you guessed it, unsubscribe!
If you’ve never done this before, it might take a little bit of time to get through your inbox so feel free to do this over a few days.
Once you’ve cleared your inbox, you can now employ the 3-strike rule on any new newsletters you may subscribe to. And for full transparency, sometimes I might go to 5 emails if I’m feeling particularly generous. Or, if I’m not feeling the vibe in the first email, I’ll unsubscribe straight away.
This might sound ruthless, but this is your energy, attention and sanity on the line and it should be protected.
Now, for an even more mindful approach, ask yourself before subscribing to a newsletter:
Does this align with my current goals or interests?
Is this something I really want or need in my inbox?
If the answer is no, then don’t subscribe.
Not only does this protect your energy and attention, but it protects you from having your email compromised or sold on to third-party companies.
The 6th regret of the dying
“1. I wish I’d had the courage to a live true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.”— Bronnie Ware, The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying
These regrets were those of people nearing the end of their life but, given that the majority of people lived with the internet and social media only at the end of their life, I believe we may end up seeing a 6th regret when my generation (millennials) and those that follow me (Gen Z and Gen A) come to the end of our lives:
6. “I wish I didn’t spend so much time on my phone.”